A list of sensational quotes from undisclosed sources.

Introduction of job role making websites and applications

I make Weblications


"It made me chuckle when he referred to the Privacy and Electronic Communications Regulations (PECR) as "Pecker"

Old Fashioned

Client: This website looks like it's from the 1980's
Person: The Internet didn't exist at that point

The Pregnancy

Person 1: Balls seem to be working in order, only needed two tries lol
Person 2: Two pump wonder

The Toilet

Two colleagues walk into the toilet of a pub that Person 1 hasn't been to before and stand next to each other taking a pi$$...
Person 1: small isn't it
Person 2: looks down then back up again in disbelief
Person 1: the pub I meant 😂😂

After being struck down with an illness..

Things got worse for me after deepthroating that banana

Dev protecting his work

Person 1: home page is a bit of a dogs dinner currently

Person 2: is the dog eating a steak?

Someone can't wait to get rid of this project

Can't wait to see back of this. It feels similar to when you have a one night stand and you just want out of of the building immediately

Discussing how to reduce the price of a chicken purchase

If you were to make a deal with a chicken farmer per chicken then maybe you might make it cheaper, as can come out cheaper and you have the whole bird to play with

Skype convo about a new app

a truly amazing contraception

Eating out at lunch

Email sent round about having lunch out
Person 1 replies that he has bought lunch and won't be attending
Dinner time approaches and we stand up to go for dinner
Person 1 states he will come and have a salad
Halfway through the meal..
Person 1 asks - whilst eating a 'big plate dinner' - if anyone else is having dessert!

Two colleagues speaking about being busy with running club tomorrow lunch

Person 1: Are you ready for tomorrow?
Person 2: My body's always ready

When learning the word bird in sign language

Person 1: "How do you do the bird?"
Person 2: "The bird should come over your chest"

We've got a wild one...

Person 1: If you could be any animal what would it be?
Person 2: A dolphin
Person 1: Why’s that then?
Person 2: Because they’re intelligent and have sex for fun!

When reading an article and noticing the word EMEA.

Person 1: EMEA :O, Stein has worked with them.
Person 2: EMEA stands for europe, middle east and africa
Person 1: like i give a ...

When asked to add some styling on a website.

“we could do with some of that shane lovin”

Upon arrival at the pub

"where's all the young lasses?"